I have my first therapy session on Monday and thought I would make a start on the modules I’ve been given. The first one starts off explaining what Social Anxiety actually is.
When going into situations that make me feel anxious I have often experienced the “Oh don’t be daft, there’s nothing to worry about”, “You’re worrying far too much about this” and “Just pull yourself together”. These comments to somebody living with Social Anxiety are completely pointless because they’re not simply worrying, it’s an intense horrible fear that something will go wrong or in my case I will do something and look stupid or someone will take a dislike to me and I fear I won’t be able to cope and want to escape. I have become a master at coming up with excuses not to go somewhere where I know there will be a ‘gathering’.
Obviously in certain situations it is normal to be anxious, like going for a job interview or being the centre of attention and speaking in a meeting. In my personal experience I have completely confused what is a real/normal fear and what is not, sometimes the fear can be totally way over the top and cause me to have a panic attack which is why I’ve been off work for the last two weeks.
It is very frustrating not being able to control your thoughts and fears because all I want right now is to get back to work and back in my usual routine. I have recently been promoted to a position that I’ve been hoping for for two years. I love my new job and feel I’m jeopardising my chances of ‘moving up the ladder’ because of the time I’m taking off due to illness. I did try to force myself through my fears and went into work for three consecutive days with major fear of something happening. I can’t explain the rushing thoughts I had in my head but it really wasn’t nice and I felt out of control at some points and just needed to escape. The first day I managed to get through but the second wasn’t so good. My physical symptoms are just awful and cause some very distressing situations. It can sound like I’m being over the top but I have found the whole Social Anxiety thing quite hard to talk about in the past. I’m hoping this blog will help me with my therapy.
Reading through this first module has helped me understand why my body reacts as it does in these situations and understanding what the problem is has helped massively. In the past I’ve just labelled myself as a born worrier and thought I can’t handle things the same as other people. I’ve always thought I need to try harder when doing things as I never seem to do them as good as other people and others always seem to ‘cope’ better than me. I now know that these are just the negative thoughts that have become part of my thinking pattern which needs to change and enable me to manage my anxiety more effectively.
I’m not sure I am allowed to post a link to the module I have been reading due to copyright but if you are interested in reading it contact me and I’ll email you a copy.
Thanks for reading and stay positive 🙂
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss
I’ve often wondered if other people think the same as me and worry as much or to the same level as me. Doing some research over the last few weeks has helped me realise and accept what has been going on in my head for the last 10ish years. Half the battle is accepting you have a problem. I’m on a mission now and I’m dealing with it! 🙂
Please note: I wrote this post for the first ever Blog Carnival of Mental Health. The topic is diagnosis. *** So, as many of you know, WordPress allows me to see what people search for to find this blog. As of late, I've had some alarming searches, namely–"is social anxiety real" and "is cyclothymia real." I guess it's good that people are questioning their inner experiences, but I'd like to know to what end? Labels are dangerous. It's very dang … Read More
Well, I’ve been a bit rubbish at this blogging malarkey but I promise, it won’t happen again!
So, what have I been up to? Not a lot really. We’ve booked a holiday to Bulgaria so we’re trying to save some pennies, there’s nowt worse than expecting to have a lovely relaxing holiday and then get there to find you’ve been a bit crap on the working out your ‘daily allowance’. Ha ha! Don’t deny, I know you do it as well! We’re not going till June 2011 but that doesn’t stop me getting excited, already.
I don’t like to sound depressing so I’ll make this quick. I’ve been off work for the last 2 weeks as I’m having problems with anxiety at the moment. I’ve recently been diagnosed with ‘Social Anxiety Disorder’, I’ve never even heard of it! Anyway, I won’t bore you with the details but I’ve got another 3 weeks off work, lots of reading and writing to do and start my therapy next week. I know I will get there!
We went to Pets At Home yesterday and bought a bird bath and a new jumper for Molly. Here she is doing her best winter pose 🙂
To top the weekend off, what a couple of great games for United and the Town Terriers! We had United streaming online and Huddersfield Town commentary on the radio. It was crazy, it seemed as though every time United scored Town scored seconds later! lol. In case you’ve been in hiding somewhere and just happened to miss the score lines, United beat Blackburn Rovers, who incidentally are my 2nd favourite Premier League team 7-1 and Town beat Macclesfield 6-0 in the FA Cup. As you can probably tell, the Charlton-Thomas household was a very happy one by Saturday tea time 🙂
Right, better be off, I’ve got lots of reading to do and need to get them tedious ‘thoughts’ written down at some point (oh how boring).
Thanks for reading.
Before you go …